Forgiveness
by ellayyennayy
Summary: Set after the season two finale. Bellamy can't just let Clarke walk away, he can't stand there and do nothing while she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. But how can he help her through it if she won't let him?
1. Chapter 1

****No rights reserved.**

Bellamy walked into Camp Jaha with a heavy heart. The recently freed kids swarmed around, hugging each other and laughing. Bellamy turned and watched Clarke walk to the treeline. He couldn't bear the thought of her suffering with so much guilt all alone, but he knew he couldn't stop her from leaving; once Clarke made a decision, there was no changing her mind.

"Bellamy!" Octavia smiled as she hugged him again.

He couldn't help smiling back at her, but his smile quickly faded as his eyes wandered back to where Clarke had been just moments ago.

"She left?"

Bellamy's voice was steel. "She left."

Octavia looked at him, wide eyed; she knew what her brother was trying to hide, she knew him just as well as she knew herself.

"Bellamy," she started.

"Don't, O, I can't stop her."

"Bell, go with her!" She snapped, slapping his arm.

"What?" Bellamy looked at his sister incredulously.

"Listen, Clarke's done some really bad stuff, but Indra was right, she was just being a good leader for our people. I can't forgive her yet, but she needs it. She needs you. You need each other, you're both just too stubborn to see it."

"What about you?"

"I can take care of myself, big brother." She chuckled and pushed his shoulder playfully.

"I will come back."

"See you later then." She turned him by his shoulders and pushed him towards the woods. "You better hurry!"

Bellamy sprinted towards the woods. _'She can't have gone that far.'_ He stopped just inside the trees, looking for any indication of where she'd gone, but found none. He walked a little ways in one direction but quickly turned back and tried the other. It was no use, Lexa had apparently taught her how to hide her trail. He scoured the area for hours until the sun began to set. He'd known it was hopeless after the first half hour, but he couldn't bring himself to just walk away. Looking up, he saw a torch approaching.

"Day's over, loverboy," called Raven, "you can try again tomorrow."

"No use," he called back, "she's gone."

Raven frowned. "She'll come back, Bellamy. Clarke wouldn't just abandon the people she worked so hard to keep safe."

Bellamy nodded firmly and started walking back towards the camp.

Raven looked around the trees for a moment, "She'll come back." She whispered to herself.

She jogged to catch up with Bellamy. They reentered camp together and went to get a drink.

**···**

Clarke walked until her legs refused to carry her anymore. She hadn't set a destination in mind, but when she found herself approaching the Grounder camp, she veered sharply to the right. Giving the camp a wide berth so as not to be noticed, she continued walking aimlessly through the forest. Later, she found herself back at the drop ship; the charred remnants of the 100's last stand against the Grounders lay untouched. She thought about her fight with Anya atop the bodies of those people. She made her way into the lowest level of the ship and picked up a few items she thought may be useful, then continued meandering through the forest.

She thought about the alliance with the Grounders, what could have been different if Anya hadn't been shot. She thought about Lexa, their kiss, her betrayal; Clarke's heart was torn between hating the Commander for what she'd done and respecting her even more for protecting her people.

"I never would have betrayed her like that." She scoffed aloud. "Never."

She stopped for a moment, pondering her own words. "Would I?"

She angrily swiped at the tears she hadn't realized were beginning to stream down her face. The scene at Mount Weather flashed in her mind; shooting Dante, all the innocent people on Level 5 that she killed, Maya's face was the most prominent. She cringed as she recalled Jasper's broken expression as he cradled Maya's radiation burned body in his arms, "What did you do?"

She could have waited, Jasper was going to kill Cage, she didn't have to kill all those people. Hot tears slid down her cheeks, she didn't try to brush them away. Instead, she ran; she didn't know where she was going, but it didn't matter. She had nowhere to go; she would not go to Lexa, she couldn't face her yet, she couldn't go back to Camp Jaha, couldn't face the friends she once had. She ran until her lungs burned, her tear stained cheeks flushed. She continued walking until her legs felt like jelly and she collapsed beneath an enormous tree. She looked up at the night sky.

"They're all safe," she whispered to the stars. "But at what cost?"


	2. Chapter 2

Bellamy picked himself up off the forest floor. He looked around, but the fog made it impossible to see his hand in front of his face. _'The fog!'_ He started to run, but quickly tripped over the root of a tree. Scrambling to get up, he noticed his skin wasn't burning. He slowly stood and inspected his flesh by poking random spots. Satisfied that he wasn't in any imminent danger, he tried to look around again. He felt the cold mist of the fog enveloping him and suddenly realized his chest was only covered by a thin tee shirt. He wiggled his toes in boots he could not see and felt for the fabric of the pants he could not see either.

"Bell!" He barely heard his sister's call from far off to his right. "Bell!" She was louder, in the other direction. "Be-ell!" She sang from behind him.

He spun towards the sound of his sister's voice, but as soon as he thought he was close, she sounded far off again.

"Octavia, where are you?" He shouted into the fog.

Her voice quit, leaving him wrapped in the thick silence of the fog.

"Octavia!" He tried again.

He tried to run and tripped up on a root again. He caught his balance against the tree and sank down at its base. Looking up, he could see the night sky and all the stars. When he looked back around him, the fog had lifted, but the forest was pitch black. A small blue light in the distance caught his eye. He stood and walked as quickly as the pesky roots would allow towards that light. He felt strangely warm the closer he got to it.

"Clarke?" He whispered to the little light.

"Clarke." A tiny voice responded.

He finally reached the light, but couldn't figure out what it was. No glowing butterfly, no attached stick, just a small blue orb. He reached his hand out to touch it and felt warmth spread all the way up his arm, filling his entire body.

"Clarke." He whispered.

"Clarke." The tiny voice responded again.

The orb shot forward, pulling the warmth with it, leaving him cold and alone in the dark. He stood, feeling empty, until the orb appeared in front of him again, bringing the warmth and light back into him.

"Clarke." The tiny voice whispered, then the orb shot away again.

Bellamy waited for it to come back and when it did he began walking in the direction it left. As he walked, the orb floated alongside him. Every now and then it would loop around him or float in vertical loops beside him, almost as though it was trying to play. He walked with the orb for what felt like an eternity until they came to a clearing, his sister stood alone in the center facing away from him.

"O!" He shouted, forgetting the orb and running to her.

She didn't turn and when he got close to her, she ran away.

"Octavia, wait!" He shouted as he chased after her.

He chased her through more forest until he stumbled out onto a river bank.

"Octavia!" He shouted, looking up and down the dark embankment.

"She's not here, Bellamy." The girl in the river replied.

"Clarke?" He threw his arm up as a bright light filled his vision. When he put it down, the sun was high in the sky.

"What took you so long?" Clarke laughed, climbing out of the water. "You said you'd be back half an hour ago."

"I did?"

He couldn't help but stare at her long legs as she walked to her clothing piled on a rock.

"Yeah, remember? 'How could you be so irresponsible as to not bring food, Clarke?'" She relayed his words, wagging her finger and scowling. She laughed at her awful impersonation. "You left to try and hunt for something to eat."

His jaw dropped as she stripped herself of her soaked tank top and undergarments. Clarke Griffin was naked in front of him. He quickly spun around and heard her laughing.

"Bellamy, it's not like it's anything you haven't seen before." She laughed as she walked towards him.

She rested her hand gently on his shoulder and turned him to face her. He glanced down and saw that she was still gloriously naked, he promptly averted his eyes.

"Bellamy," she paused, hoping he would look at her. "Why are you being so weird?"

She leaned close to him and whispered something in his ear. "What?" He nearly shouted.

He felt the warm press of her lips against his. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her still damp body. She pressed her body flush against his and he could feel the warmth radiating off of her, filling him.

"Bellamy." She moaned, pulling him onto a blanket spread by the water.

He lay half on top of her and half beside her and continued to kiss her.

"Bellamy." She said, louder this time.

He slid his hand up her arm, across her shoulder, his palm gently brushing across her breast.

"Bellamy!" She shouted just beside his ear.

He jumped and fell out of the makeshift hammock bed. He looked up to see Raven laughing, offering her hand to help him up. He laid his forehead against the cold floor and groaned.


	3. Chapter 3

Bellamy spent the day bothering Octavia, following her around and not speaking. She snapped at him more than once.

"Bell, stop moping and just go look for her. You're making _me_ miserable."

He finally left her alone after she tried to ditch him in a flower field, he knew she wanted to meet with Lincoln. He wandered back to camp and found himself at Raven's work table.

"Hey, can you hand me -" Raven started as she turned around. "Oh, you're not Wick."

She leaned around him and grabbed some hunk of metal off the table. "What's up?" She asked as she turned and started fiddling with the piece.

"What are we supposed to do now?" He huffed, looking off into the distance.

"Regular life, I guess." She stuck a screwdriver in her mouth and continued to mumble around it.

"No one can understand you when you do that." Wick sang as he walked in. "Hey, Bellamy, good to finally see you." He clapped a hand on Bellamy's shoulder as he walked by.

"I said," Raven huffed, rolling her eyes at Wick, "Why don't you check the Grounder camp for her?"

"Who?" Wick asked, looking between Raven and Bellamy.

"She wouldn't be there." Bellamy's face hardened. "Not after what the Commander did."

Raven scowled at the mention of Lexa, none too pleased with the very recent memory of being drilled for bone marrow because of her. Wick walked behind her chair and gently rubbed her shoulder; her face softened and she looked back up at Bellamy.

"She'll come back eventually, she just needs time."

Bellamy nodded stiffly and walked out. Raven sighed heavily.

"Hey," Wick placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "You alright?"

She sighed again, "I'll be fine, it's him I'm worried about." She nodded towards the door.

He picked her up out of the chair. "Well, how about I distract you for a while?"

She laughed and kissed him as he carried her to the cot in the far corner.

**···**

Bellamy glanced towards the woods, hoping maybe he'd catch a glimpse of her, as he made his way to the makeshift hospital. He found Kane sitting on an improvised bed beside a similar one for Abby.

"Bellamy, how are things out there?"

"Calm. I don't think the Grounders are going to be a threat again."

"We can't know that for sure." Abby said, trying to sit up.

Kane put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Marcus." She said, brushing him off. "We need to keep an eye out for them just in case, and make sure that we're still prepared."

"Bellamy can take care of that, Abby." Marcus smiled at Bellamy. "You've been running things down here long enough to know what you're doing."

Bellamy nodded and walked out to the sounds of Abby trying to argue with Kane. He smiled lightly and shook his head, he knew where Clarke got her stubbornness from. He spent the rest of the morning ordering the remaining guard members around and reminding the newly freed of their responsibilities. He came up to Monty and Jasper's shared space and found them idly fondling plants. Jasper's face was blank, but his eyes were filled with sorrow. Monty hugged himself every now and then when he found his hands empty; they seemed more put together than some of the others.

"Hey," Bellamy called, "how you two doing?"

Jasper looked hard at Monty before staring in the other direction, Monty looked at Bellamy apologetically and lightly shrugged his shoulders before pulling his jacket tighter and wrapping his arms around himself.

"Jasper-" Bellamy started, taking a step closer. He stepped back at Jasper's slight cringe. "When you're ready..." he said to the back of Jasper's head before nodding at Monty and walking out.

He went back to training with the guard for the rest of the afternoon.

**· · ·**

Clarke woke up that day to the sound of two unidentifiable beasts growling at what she hoped was each other. She slowly got up and crept away until she could no longer hear them then immediately sprinted away until she was exhausted yet again. She napped in trees, hoping to avoid any other animals, and spent the rest of the day wandering through the forest until she came to a small stream.

She hadn't realized how dehydrated she was until she saw the water. She ran down the embankment too fast and tumbled into the cold water. She laughed at her clumsiness and splashed around in the water for hours, relishing in the childlike splendor of carelessness.

She managed to catch what looked to be a mutated fish. The thing had two tails and four eyes, but two of them seemed to be unusable. She managed to fashion a small fire to dry her clothes and cook the fish that she assumed was safe to eat.

Once the sun began to sink beneath the horizon she stomped her fire out, packed her few items back into the pack she swiped from the drop ship, and jogged as far away as she could before the sunlight quit. She hoisted herself into a gargantuan tree and settled in for the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke lifted her eyes to the bright, midday sun. She stood alone in the center of a field. Looking around, she could see her people pouring out of the edges of the forest, marching swiftly toward her.

"Raven." Clarke shouted, confused.

She tried to wave at the dark haired girl, but received a hardened glare in return.

"Raven, what's going on?"

She felt panic rise in her chest as the people she called her friends began closing in on her.

"You killed them all, Clarke." Raven's voice was like honey, so soothing and sweet, a strange contrast to her hard expression.

"I had to save you!" Clarke cried, spinning within the circle. "I had to save all of you!"

She looked at each and every face, seeing the conviction and hatred all around.

"I had to." She whispered, hanging her head.

She glanced up and saw the single face of forgiveness before a bright light filled her vision. She squeezed her eyes shut and when she finally opened them she was back on the arc.

"Clarke!" Her father shouted. "You better come eat before it's cold!"

She tiptoed to the table, unsure why she was suddenly so unsettled.

"Clarke? Are you feeling okay?" her mother placed her hand against her forehead. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, mom." Clarke brushed her mother's hand away and picked up her fork.

"Is this really where you want to be, Clarke?" her father whispered.

She looked up at him, eyes wide in confusion. Before she could respond the door opened, filling the room with light.

"Clarke." A voice whispered beside her ear. "Clarke." It insisted, a hand nudging her shoulder.

She opened her eyes to the forest canopy. Rolling over, she found Finn sitting beside her.

"What are you doing here?" She snapped, sitting up quickly.

"Relax, Clarke, I-"

"You're dead, Finn." She paused. "Am I dead too?"

"No," he soothed. "I just needed to talk to you."

"Finn," she started, tears already springing to her eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"Clarke, it's okay, it had to be done. We don't have much more time."

"What are you talking about?"

"You did what had to be done, Clarke."

"You said that."

"Not for me," he stopped, giving her a look full of sadness. "For them, Clarke. You did what you had to do for them. They'll see too, in time."

Before she could ask him what he meant, he pushed her. She tumbled down a mountain, the words Mount Weather flashed in her mind, but she wasn't sure why. She fell for hours and when she finally slumped to a stop she was at a river. She stumbled down the embankment to the edge.

"There you are." A voice laughed behind her.

She jumped and spun around, reaching for a weapon she did not have.

"Clarke, what's wrong?" Bellamy's smile faded as he glanced around them.

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," he huffed. "You said you wouldn't be gone very long. When you didn't come back I got worried."

"Oh. Right." She faked.

Bellamy smirked and sauntered up to her. "Now that I know you're safe." He slid his warm hands up her back, pulling her flush against his body; she hadn't realized she'd been so cold. She cocked her head to the side in confusion, but before she could say anything he pressed his lips against hers. She felt his warmth fill her to her toes. He kissed a light trail across her jaw to her neck, whispering something into her ear.

"What?" she mumbled hoarsely.

He kissed her shoulder, stretching the collar of her shirt.

"Clarke." He sighed against her flesh, provoking goosebumps all over her body.

He gently tugged her down onto a blanket and continued to trail kisses over her exposed skin. She quickly rid herself of her shirt and lay beneath him, savoring the heat of his mouth against her.

"Clarke." He murmured as he kissed her collarbone.

She sat up so fast she nearly fell off the wide branch of the tree. Looking around, she saw that the sun was not quite fully over the horizon just yet; she scurried down the tree and made her way back to the small stream she left the day before.


End file.
